What to do when your child wants to quit karate?
The ultimate guide on finding the reasons kids want to quit karate Get a Voucher for 7 days of Martial ArtsWhat to do when your kids want to quit karate?
Have you ever seen this face before?
Most parents of kids involved in the Martial Arts are accustomed to hearing their kids complaining about going to class every once in a while
It’s the same when they go to school in the morning. You are tired of hearing your kids using phrases such us “I don’t like Karate anymore”, “I don’t want to go to class”, and “can I stay home and play instead?” Especially when you see the tuition fees come out again and again. That question creeps in to your head: “Should I continue paying for this if my kids are not enjoying it?”
the main reasons
Before you make that determination consider the reasons why a child does not want to do martial arts, and for that matter, any other sport. There are two major reasons why your kids want to quit karate. Both of them have to do with a sort of “fear”.
1. Fear of Commitment
They started karate class not too long ago. A new uniform, a brand new belt and the promise to become a real-life super-hero.
But after they start class, their enthusiasm drops. A few months passed by, they did a bunch of push ups and jumping jacks, they punched and kicked, and yet . . . no black belt.
Their initial enthusiasm begins to drop, but not necessarily their desire to complete their goals.
That desire is still there! Your kids still want to look like a black belt, feel like a black belt and be respected as a black belt. They want their super powers!
The reason they are trying to quit now is
they have not experienced INSTANT GRATIFICATION.
In the adult world, we can understand that nothing worth getting in life is that simple, and it does not come fast. In fact, most things in life that are truly worth it take a lot of work and effort. But you might still be wondering: “is it worth pushing your kids to continue?” The answer is: that depends. It depends on the lesson you want them to learn.
Assuming you are happy with your studio, you have professional instructors, and you see other students achieve success (if you are not sure whether you have the right dojo click here to see a complete guide to determining the right studio for you) the only thing left to figure out is the ultimate goal.
Quality takes time and Effort
So your goal is to teach them patience. Excellent! You are right to teach them this lesson. If that is the case then it is worth it to keep pushing them. Talk to your instructor before making a decision you might regret, and just because your kids want to quit karate. That’s not enough. Let the senseis know what the kids are going through and their lack of enthusiasm.
A professional instructor has no problems dealing with the knowledge that students are struggling. After all, that is their career. Important Note: Your kids will mask this fear by saying phrases like:
“I don’t like the class anymore”
“I am bored, I don’t understand what they teach there”
“I rather play another sport”
Think about it like this: when YOU went to high school, college or beyond, did you like it all? Were you happy the whole time? Were there moments you did not understand a subject, things were not clear to you? Did you consider switching majors, or your career altogether? Do you remember having doubts?
These feelings are very normal, but as adults we know quality takes time and effort. Giving up too early will not pay off in the end.
No place worth their salt will give you a Certificate on Quitting or a Degree on Giving-Up
What should I do? I am tired of hearing it
Bottom line is you are tired of hearing your kids say they want to quit karate. In that case, trust your senseis to do their job. Talk to them about how the kids have been saying these things lately. Ask for help and let them know you have their back. The key ingredient here is a unified message. Have a clear topic, keep consistency. Establish easy to attain goals.
When you signed up your kids you did not do it out of spite, there was always a goal in the end. This goal has not moved, you just got tired.
Let your kids know their feelings are valid, and they are experiencing a fear of committing to a long-term goal. Most long-term goals feel the same way. The benefit here is that in the long run, when they have finally achieved their black belts, you will hear their gratitude more than their complaints.
No Black Belt ever says they regret achieving it. Besides, a black belt in a college transcript is equivalent to saying “I don’t give up when it gets tough”. Wouldn’t you rather see this in a young adult’s resume? or would you rather see it say “I never keep my promises”? Getting an almost-black-belt
2. Fear of the Unknown
Training in the Martial Arts can truly be a family affair. We need the support of the senseis, the students and the parents. But what happens when you, as a parent, just let them go at the first sign of them getting bored? You would be teaching them that if they are tired, bored, or things get tough in the life they can simply ask you, and you can bail them out. We can all agree that’s is probably not going to happen when the kids grow up.
As educators, we know that these things will happen so we make an agreement with the parents and the student so they understand we are all on the same side. This promise is simple: we will guide you to your goal of being a black belt, but when you get tired you are not allowed to give up.
There are many things that can change a child’s desire to train. In some cases they simply don’t like exercising, and some others they dislike someone in the class whether it is the teacher or another student, and in most cases they are just pulled away from in activity they enjoy in order to do karate.
But unlike all other activities, Karate teaches you to be disciplined. The hardest part of being disciplined is staying on course. Everyone wants to be more disciplined, and see themselves become more accomplished, but usually this path takes a long time and it requires you to stay on the path. Children do not understand this concept yet and so it is our role as parents and educators to show it to them
What if other activities get on the way? This is a very normal occurrence, in fact there are always other activities the students already do. They could be football, baseball, dance, singing, etc. Ultimately this resembles life in general, you may have work, school, family, other commitments, and managing all these doe not get easier, each one requires some part of your busy schedule. The only way to prepare for the future is by practicing now. Martial arts does that, and more importantly instills the habit of not giving up even when time is an issue.
One of the very valuable resources we have at our disposal is the use of personal sessions. The sessions are 30 minutes long each and they go around you reschedule, in fact they can accommodate to various times and most of the time these lessons fit even the toughest of schedules.
Showing our kids the meaning of Martial Arts will always be more valuable than letting them quit. No one ever learned anything from quitting, except that it is easy.
